Reasons Why Young People Don’t Get Married These Days
March 28, 2012 16 Comments
Look back in time a few decades ago to daytime television and you’ll see The Newly Wed Game where young couples answered questions to see how much they knew about their spouse. They’d look lovingly into each others eyes, holding hands and getting all giggly while reminiscing about their honeymoon.
Now fast forward to today and you’ll see low class people beating each other up on stage, cursing and yelling at each other while trying to figure out who fathered their baby. I can’t even figure out what they are trying to say much less understand why they don’t know who fathered their child.
What has happened to America?
Divorce has ruined marriage
We’ve made it too easy for people to get out of marriage. Working at a relationship is no longer important. We live in a throw away society. If you aren’t happy you simply find a lawyer and they are a plentiful bunch, just look at any yellow page book and you’ll see page after page of attorneys just waiting to help you split the sheets.
Women no longer have to put up with infidelity, abuse or neglect, which is wonderful but we’ve also made it too easy not to try. You don’t have to reconcile or rekindle the flame you simply sign your name and separate.
Divorce has made boys out of men
I’m going to step on some toes here but often times the truth hurts.
Look around you at the young men today. Most look like oversized little boys that never grew up in their short pants, athletic shoes and ball caps. They want to spend their lives playing video games instead of growing up and becoming men. And you know why? Because most didn’t have a father figure in their lives to show them how to be men.
Mom and dad divorced, mom got the house and the kids and dad left. Oh some try to visit in the beginning but between the arguments, jealousy and guilt many soon give up. Why bother?
Children from broken homes
Many of the young people today in their 20’s and 30’s are from these broken homes and they are wondering why marry in the first place if you end in divorce?
Babies born out of wedlock are no longer called bastards. We’ve made it easy for unwed mothers to raise children without a father so they don’t have to worry about getting married. Forty seven percent of children born today are born out of wedlock. That is sad.
When asked many of these young women will tell you their child’s father is out of work, many still live with their parents and not ready for responsibility. And so the cycle begins.
What’s in it for young men?
In the old days decent people didn’t have sex out of wedlock. Well they did but it was kept under wraps and if she got pregnant they got married because her daddy made sure the young man made a respectable woman out of her.
The young men of today sees what happened to the older guys, some have even warned them of the evils of women and marriage.
Their fathers lost their house, kids and most of their assets so why would they want that? Many remember their dads leaving the house to live in a small apartment while mom got the nice house in the suburbs. Dad is still working to pay for a house he can’t even live in anymore.
Young men don’t want to work the rest of their life just to give some woman he doesn’t like a house and car.
“Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and just give her a house.” Rod Stewart
The court system has ruined marriage for the younger generation. They make divorce too easy and given too much to women.
Alimony is no longer necessary
Most women work or at least are able bodied and could work. There is no need for alimony in most cases. It’s an old fashioned throw back from when women stayed home and didn’t have a career. If less women got alimony they’d try harder to keep their marriage together.
More women file for divorce than men. Do you know why? Women usually gain much more than men in divorce court, they get the kids, the house and most of the money. Let things get a bit difficult and women start looking for a lawyer. Why would men want to marry women knowing these odds?
We need to encourage our kids to be responsible adults
We’ve made it too easy for our children and haven’t expected them to grow up and be adults.
I’ve seen families that allowed the daughter’s boyfriend to move in with her unmarried and then of course not long afterward along comes a baby.
I also know many grandparents raising grandchildren because their daughter never married and then finds a new boyfriend who doesn’t want her kids. Or their daughter never grew up and became a responsible adult and of course she doesn’t know who the father of her children are…
Marriage counseling
We need to make it harder for people to get divorced. There needs to be more of an emphasis on working things out and keeping families together.
I realize many people feel that marriage is outdated but when children are involved they need to be raised by their father and mother together and not be shuffled back and forth.
Sons need a father to teach them how to be men and if they aren’t in the home how are they going to teach them responsibility for their own children? It’s a vicious cycle that has driven the American family out of control. Our daytime television is proof of this. I don’t even turn mine on during the day.
What are you thoughts on this?
This was a very good analysis of the situation. It’s really sad how this changed over the decades. Children are learning the wrong lessons by seeing how divorce causes trouble. I can see why the children of broken homes have a different attitude. I wonder what’s in our future? Will marriage no longer exist? Will people just live together until some little thing beaks them up and they have no desire to work things out? There are going to be a lot of lonely people.
One thing I think a lot of young people realize today is that they lose a lot of their freedom by getting married. I have no problem with divorce if both the man and woman have irreconciable differences. Why should a man or woman be forced to spend their lives as martyrs in a marriage if it can’t be saved?
good points here. I think people want to get married but are too selfish to make it work. it is a me me me society we live in today. smh
yes it is. I am a married man and very happy with the decision to marry. Have to find someone that you’re truly compatable with and can talk about anything and everything with. Have to be willing to put that persons needs before yours at time as well. It’s work work work but well worth it especially when the two have children
i believe in marriage. I plan on getting married one day. My parents are still together so this is the example i see on a daily basis. I have friends who parents aren’t together anymore but they have married or desired to get married one day
marriage is a beautiful thing. If you’re not willing to work and compromise then it may not be for you. Everything isn’t going to be as smooth as in the “movies”.
marriage is overrated IMO. There are too many people who are married but aren’t happy. I agree is the laws changed to where if you marry the spouse wouldn’t get as much as they get now then they’d be more willing to work it out instead of packing their bags and leaving with half of everything, if not more. Especially these goldiggers who marry ball players for their money. Some may be legit but most probably never had love there just sex and money (married hookers)
bravo bravo well put Martha.
Yes these laws are a bit crazy when it comes to divorcing someone. Half of what they earned even if the other person didn’t earn anything or very little at all. :bandit:
i’ve been married for less than 10years and i can say that it isn’t easy. Yes there are wonderful times but then are times when it can be very frustrating. This is bound to happen when you live with a person no matter how much love the two of you share. Just keep communication open and give each other space at times. Allow time for you and them to hang with individual friends it’ll make you appreciate them more. Especially if you’re friends are complaining about being single like mine do lol.
My marriage isn’t perfect but it’s definitely worth fighting for because i’m much happier now than i was before.
F*YOU*CK marriage. The woman always come out on top
you mean to tell me there’s no happily ever after?
Divorce is not an easy process period. Knowing that divorce is an option, means you don’t have to be stuck. I think its way to easy to get married. There should be some guidelines before allowing people to jump up and say “I do”, just because it feels right.
This sentence bothers me:
“Women no longer have to put up with infidelity, abuse or neglect, which is wonderful but we’ve also made it too easy not to try.”
Why should women try to deal with a man who is unfaithful or abusive?
I agree with you whole hardly. It should be harder to get married. There are way too many people getting married and not really knowing the person their sharing their “lives” with. It’s crazy! I think people get caught up in good sex. Good sex doesn’t equal a good marriage or even a good relationship.
PRENUP!!!!!
lol
I want to get married one day but its slim picking out here for good men